A Paparazzo instead of The Sopprano???

So I went to this audition for a cop role, got the part, and was told to be ready on the 26th. Then my cell phone rings, and I'm informed that it's been moved up to the 24th -OK. So far so good. I'm pretty flexible when I'm unemployed. The call time was established as "noon"... then I get some more cell phone calls telling me that it will be at 2:PM... then some more calls moving it back to 2:15... 2:45... and finally, "just show up in the lobby at 3:PM and we'll meet you!"

A day before the shoot date, I get a call from Grant Wilfley Casting, asking me to be a background character on The Soppranos on the same date as my Discovery Channel gig... CONFLICT!!! What do I do? What do I do?
I turned down the Sopparanos call because I already committed to the Discovery episode. My conscience is clear -but somehow I know I goofed. How many times does an actor get a shot (no pun intended) at being on The Soppranos? It's probably their last season!!! Oh well, I told Grant Wilfley the reason and asked them to call me, "I'm available next week...". She said she'd "Call again...". I can feel the boys waiting for me... YEAH!


I show up in the lobby of City Lights, the production company for the Discovery Channel and wait a while... no one is coming. I'm directed by the helpfull doorman to ask one of the people standing nearby about the crew I'm supposed to meet. He says that I should ride up the elevator with him and he'll check into it... "After all, I'm the president of the company -I should know about this!?". The elevator went down? Wrong button pressed.... but we were chatting away as we eventually headed in the right direction.

"Are you really a cop?" , the president asked.
"Nah.. I'm an engineer." -my reply elicited a giggle from my new-best-friend in the building. The unsaid ironical truth that lingered in the air was that I was a "working actor but an unemployed engineer". A not so subtle sign of our disturbed politico-economic times. The question begging to be answered was: How long before they outsource actors too? After all, computer generated characters are getting to be "more real than real"!

As we got out of the elevator, the entire crew was standing by. He handed me off to them and after a few cross-handshaking introductions from every angle of the reception area, they explained that the plot had changed!? ...OH, OH!
I was no longer going to be a cop. My new role was to be one of a couple of paparazzi besieging a pretty celebrity as she is trying to escape from a cab!?! (And I was so looking forward to playing a policeman -they even took my measurements for the uniform a few days ago... "a boyhood dream come true"... Alas, it was not to be.)

Off to Central Park we went in a celebrity cab ride of our own with the shooting crew in tow. Eventually everyone arrived and the equipment was set up. We, the "talent", practiced our "lines" and our chaotic camera-flashing-attack on the "targeted celeb". During the course of our stint, I overheard one of the PA's say how unfortunate it was that one of the expected actors blew this gig off -and apparently, that's what started the whole change in the scenario. Groan! Our shoot lasted less than 2 hours and when it was all over, we all shook hands again and went our merry ways.

I can't believe I didn't blow this gig off and take on The Soppranos opportunity instead.... I can't believe it... (hair falling... more hair falling).